I continue the topic of rare words, begun earlier in the publication “Rare words: grimoire, simulacrum, donjon, table d’hôte.” This time it's much less serious. The first two words - pipidastra and perdimonocle - are quite often used in my circle as euphemisms that replace infernal vocabulary. Or, to put it simply, they are used instead of swear words. “Fortinbras furniture workshops at Umslopogas im. Belshazzar" is already a classic, "12 Chairs" by Ilf and Petrov. What do these words mean?
The true meaning of the word "pipidastr"
Until recently, it was believed that there was no such term at all and that it was invented by fans of “funny” Internet memes. This word really does not exist in Russian sources, and it is correct, because it came to us from the English language. Pipidastras are fluffy multi-colored brushes for brushing away dust. Agree, we have seen this device many times on TV, in stores and on the Internet, but did not know its name. This panicle cannot be called a pom-pom, because apart from the presence of fibers, nothing in common between a pom-pom and a pipidastra.
Fortinbras with Umslopogas
Voldemar Yanovich (Vladimir Ivanovich) Chobur as Fortinbrass.
"Hamlet" staged by the Leningrad State Theater under the direction of S.E. Radlova, 1938 Furniture workshops of Fortinbrass at Umslopogas im. Belshazzar is a masterpiece of literary naming. Almost like a hostel named after monk Berthold Schwartz. This name can be found in one of my favorite literary works - the novel “12 Chairs” by Ilf and Petrov.
Here is what Korney Ivanovich Chukovsky writes about this name in his book “Alive as Life”: “They used the names Fortinbras and Umslopogas just as wittily. The first name belongs to a character from “Hamlet”, the second - to the hero of the novel by the English novelist Rider Haggard. The authors of “The Twelve Chairs,” pretending that they did not suspect this, jokingly invited the reader to perceive both names as composite names of two institutions (like the Moscow City Council, the Rail Council, etc.). That is why in their wonderful parody of theater posters of the 20s the following line appeared: “Furniture - from the woodworks of Fortinbras under Umslopogas.”
This hilarious Umslopogas, inspiring the idea of the decline of the mind, was so similar to the compound words of that time that it became a common name for one very large publishing house, long abolished. That’s what we said then: “Here in Umslopogas...”
Umslopogas and his sister Nada. Illustration for Henry Rider Haggard's novel Nada.
Perhaps I’ll clarify: Umslopogaas is a character in Henry Rider Haggarad’s novel Nada. This is a young man, owner of the Iron Sovereign axe, “Culprit of Moans”, later nicknamed Bulalio the Killer.
Etymology
Until now, those who like to understand complicated stories cannot say exactly where the word “pipidastr” came from. According to one of the most common versions, it is a Russian duplicate of the name of the company of the first manufacturer PP Duster. Perhaps this is not even the name of the producing organization; it is quite likely that it is a common abbreviation of some longer name. According to other guesses, everything is more or less clear with the word duster, this is the name of the company of the same name that produces electric dust brushes, but with the first part of the name everything is much more complicated. Perhaps it came from the English “peppy”, which translates as charged with energy, fast. The heroine of the children's fairy tale Pippi Longstocking immediately comes to mind, but again all this is too dubious, namely the use of a woman's name as a name for a brush. At least, the proof of this version is a more or less explainable translation, that is, “quick brush.” Many foreigners confirm the presence of “peppi dastra” in their vocabulary; it is often used by cleaners or housewives, but still no one can say for sure about the origin of the word. According to third guesses, pipidastra is puppy duster, what do puppies have to do with it is still unclear. Perhaps the brushes are as fluffy and restless as a puppy. It is still unknown who invented the pipidastra, so it is difficult to judge the reason for such a strange name.
The only thing that can be said for sure, judging by all these versions, is that pipidastra is something fast, energetic and fluffy, a kind of electric broom. Based on this definition, then such a piquant name is completely justified.
What are they?
Today there are the following types of pipidastra:
- made of feathers and down (prototype of modern pipidastra);
- synthetic models (made of polypropylene);
- products made from ostrich feathers;
- devices made of microfiber or other fabric;
- electric models.
Formally, only those panicles that are made of polypropylene (due to the origin of this term) and have a multi-colored color can be called pipidastra.
This common Chinese product can be found in any hardware store. However, in our environment it is customary to use this word in the context of similar devices.
The effectiveness of this device is subject to much controversy. Some people really can’t imagine cleaning without a pipidastra, some use it as a toy for pets, and some have not been able to fully appreciate this gadget-assistant in the household.
By the way, you can often see a funny broom in staged scenes with maids brushing dust from fragile objects or all kinds of surfaces (in Brazilian TV series, commercials and more).
In cinema, this thing has become an indispensable item in the hands of employees in large houses and a good alternative to rags, from an aesthetic point of view.
Misconception
Pipidastras are pom-poms that cheerleaders wave during their performances. It is not true! There are a lot of jokes on the Internet about the fact that the support group performs with nothing more than pipidastras. Strange, but this opinion has spread and it is now difficult to knock it out of the heads of users who listen to all the jokes.
This misconception did not appear out of nowhere, since pom-poms for cheerleading performances are called Pom Pom (from this word, by the way, the word “pom-pom” came from), and their resemblance to a whisk gave them the second name duster, if you combine the first and second designations, then it turns out PP Duster, which a Russian person will read as “pipidastr”.
The word pipidastr is quite funny for us, no matter what associations arise when pronouncing it. However, now you need to use it correctly. Pipidastras are fluffy multi-colored cleaning brushes, and not some kind of offensive curse.
Perdimonocle
To be honest, I first heard this word quite late, after 40. It was sometimes used by the director of the “Square Meter” real estate agency, Igor Alekseevich Merkulov, when it was necessary to describe an unpleasant situation with a client. True, the word was not used in its canonical forms - perdimonocle or perdumonocle, but in our common version: perdomonocle... This word was picked up by subordinates, and in our environment it was used quite often for any suitable reason.
Guy in a monocle. Not surprised yet
As I found out, the word “perdimonocle” (also known as “perdumonocle”) is quite literary and has at least two meanings. The first is something that causes great surprise, something like the English out of the blue. The second is an unpleasant surprise. This word comes from the French "perdu monocle" (lost monocle) or "perdit monocle" (lost monocle). There are two legends about this word. The first is related to the theater. To portray extreme surprise, the actor raised his eyebrow, which held the monocle, and it fell out. According to the second, when the monocle began to come into fashion, the inability to hold it was considered bad manners. Therefore, when the monocle suddenly fell out of the owner’s eye, he was terribly embarrassed. In short, there was a complete perdimonocle... They say that now a tracing-paper of this expression is still used - “the eye fell out”, but I personally have not heard or read such a thing.
Analogs
In addition to the fluffy broom, there is also an antistatic brush that sweeps away dust from small elements of home decor. Double-sided tongs, which look like a hair straightener, will help you easily clean dust from blinds, which are not so easy to remove even with a pipidastra.
An equally important advantage of such cleaning is the absence of the need to use chemicals. To avoid additional poisoning and increase the allergenic load on the body, an excellent opportunity to remove the EU is by using a simple fluffy brush.
What are pipidastras?
In general, pipidastras are Chinese multi-colored whisks, designed to be used to brush off dust from various home furnishings.
Today you can often hear that a pipidastra is not a Chinese whisk, but a whole pom-pom with which the so-called cheerleaders perform (sometimes this word is written as cheerleaders, which is a deviation from the rules of English-Russian transcription). For those who are not in the know, it should be explained: cheerleading is a unique sport that combines both elements of spectator sports (acrobatics, dancing, gymnastics) and simply elements of a show. Typically, female dancers act as cheerleaders, who are disparagingly called cheerleaders. They dance, cheerfully waving fluffy pom-poms in their hands. The point of their performances is to support their favorite sports team.
Cheerleading is a separate and independent sport in which competitions are held not only across Russia. Cheerleading championships are held both in Europe and around the world.
Returning to the main topic of this article, it should be noted that some people mistake these cheerleader pom-poms for real pipidastras. This is wrong! Cheerleader pom-poms are pom-poms, and Chinese duster pompoms are pipidastras. In general, these are two different things. It is worth explaining why this simple confusion arose between them.
Passage collapses of delicious pipidastras
What a good idea, Andrey thinks: you write the word “Pass” in large letters, write any nonsense next to it, and at the same time the chance that a traffic cop will stop your car is greatly reduced.
That’s how it is, the cat Bublik and I note, but he shouldn’t have drawn a two-headed eagle with St. George the Victorious - it’s a state symbol, after all, and they can get really screwed over that. There it was necessary to depict a two-headed chicken and Milonov stealing a rainbow from Europe - then there would be no faults.
I remember in the nineties I stuck a French flag of the appropriate size on the windshield of my Niva (like the Russian flag on the cars of government officials) with a small inscription “Franco-Russian Friendship Society” - damn the traffic cops themselves don’t know how the colors alternate on the Russian flag . So, in reality, they didn’t stop me at all for three years. They only stopped me once, when, to be honest, I became completely insolent: the traffic cop began to study the flag and asked where I had the documents for this badge, so I showed him the ID of the chairman of the Franco-Russian Friendship Society, Jean Borisovich Poitiers-Exler. He had nothing to hide, so he let him go.
***
It is immediately clear from the poster, Alexander notes, that Belgium has indeed decided to say a categorical “No” to nuclear energy.
***
On Avito, Mikhail said, they put up an interesting lot. And after all, someone tried, collected. But now it will raise good money - that’s 12 bottles of vodka you can buy!
Well, by the way, if you add only 490 rubles, Pavel notes, then you can buy it for the most part.
***
The Pindos have become completely insolent, Anton is indignant. They made attempts to collapse Russia right during the annual Big Press Conference, but what is all this going on?!!
***
Terrible news comes from Aliexpress, Sergey is scared, it’s simply terrible!
***
Mirat sent an optimistic and life-affirming advertisement from Blagoyar. As they say, all's well that ends well!
Sadists, Denis is sad. If only before the soup they sent the unfortunate chicken on a free resort vacation!
***
Estonian Airlines, said Valery, made a responsible statement.
***
Alexander wonders how the advertisement suited the photograph. (The photo shows the process of creating a robot doll at the Disney studio.)
***
This is the kind of student he is today, Dmitry notes. You can say - junior!
***
The main thing, Galina believes, is to be truly creative. Specialists from the EMUP Spetsavtobaza, together with structures close to Putin’s chef Prigozhin, will hold an open lesson.
Anton is ready to offer a cozy building for this open lesson.
***
When I wanted to write “Jesus let it...snow,” Mikhail sighs, something went wrong. (From Axler: it turned out to be “Jesus, give me tits”! Well, by the way, that’s not bad either.)
***
Why not, asks Anton? Napoleon and Lenin are bored without a pilot.
The advertisement should be simple and intelligible.
A shared refrigerator in an office is like that. Complex.
Eh, I feel sorry for Uncle Borya...
His Excellency has worked like a crab in the galleys since childhood!
***
In principle, it is logical, Lana believes. It’s okay for kids to dress up as foreign heroes. Let them dress up as original Russian heroes: Pinocchio, Scarecrow, Oorfene-Djuice and Doctor Aibolit.
Send your banners here, thank you.
What is another name for a dust brush?
However, such a funny and incomprehensible name for household equipment confuses many cleaners. But traders of small household goods and even the owners of this item themselves use more acceptable names:
- dust broom . A common name that defines the purpose of a thing. Understandable to everyone, especially the older generation;
- dust collector brush . The name comes from the resemblance to a brush with a long handle for cleaning plumbing fixtures from dirt and bacteria (toilet brush);
- staticduster . Perhaps the most logical name for a household item. The fact is that when a brush rubs on the surface, a static attraction arises between the artificial fleece and the dirt. Dust particles are attracted to the pile, and a cleaning effect is created.
Important! The dust is not brushed off the furniture, but sits on the broom, which needs to be washed and dried after cleaning. The technology is very convenient in places inaccessible to a hand with a rag and does not leave streaks on glossy surfaces. However, it will not cope with multi-layered and dense dust formations.
Of course, it is most correct to call things by their proper names. But borrowed names do not always take root in everyday life. It is most correct to indicate the current name of the item and its decoding. For example: “Pipidastr. Dust broom."
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Pipidastr
When my first business trip in Brazil ended, an elderly guy from our office came to replace me. That's what we'll talk about now. He had Baltic roots and had a name and surname characteristic of the Baltics, and not at all characteristic of Russia. In the Rostov brigade they came up with various nicknames for him, including Pipidastr, which was consonant with his last name. There were several more very obscene nicknames on a similar topic, but I won’t voice them now. Let's stop at Pipidastra. It’s the most common word, despite the fact that for some it evokes unhealthy associations.
(For those for whom this word evokes extremely unhealthy associations: a pipidastra is a synthetic broom used to remove dust.)
I met him in Brazil for literally a day and a half. He checked me into a hotel, quickly introduced him to the brigade (“— Pipidastr — brigade. — Brigade — Pipidastr. Communicate.”) and left for his native Palestine. And after I left, he turned around.
At work, he masterfully sat on the ears of Rostovites. Any attempt to attract him to work ended in a pile of excuses. Okay, I myself was guilty of this, if we were talking about the Rostov work - the problems of the sheriff's blacks... But Pipidastr brilliantly excused himself from our work.
- Masha, I can’t figure out how to draw up this act...
- Igor, something’s not working out for me with those boxes...
- Slava, something’s bothered me in the back, you can’t look in the technical bay...
- Kostya, this is how it’s done, otherwise my predecessor didn’t show me...
- Andrey, tell me how...
- Dima, help...
- Sasha…
Rostovites called me and said, “how can you be so stupid!” I chuckled to myself and didn’t say anything to them. Old folk wisdom - if you can’t determine in a couple of hands who is the sucker at the table, then that sucker is you. It began to reach the Rostovites only when Pipidastr's business trip had greatly exceeded the middle - all this time Pipidastr did not do a damn thing, and the whole team worked for him and for his benefit. However, realizing the situation and removing Pipidastra from your neck are two different processes. The Rostovites failed to achieve the latter. In everyday life, by the way, the same thing happened - someone would bring something to Pipidastra, carry it, arrange it, arrange it, help him while he was resting. Well done.
(I lived separately from the Rostovites, on the other side of the city. My parting gift to the brigade was that I put Pipidastra in the hotel where the Rostovites lived. That’s what they need, bitches.)
Pipidastra was dirty. What he had in stock were three alcoholic T-shirts, and he didn’t wash them. The stench in the room was such that the hotel owner washed his clothes for free at the dry cleaners that everyone else had to pay for. He wore the work uniforms from Rostov, which everyone else shunned like the plague, with pride. He managed to beg several sets of these clothes from the brigade leader and these became his ceremonial weekend suits. Glasses broken in several places, wrapped with tape and duct tape. The unchanged bag, on which the top handle had fallen off due to age - Pipidastr attached a wooden (!) door (!!) handle with screws and nuts instead. In the military canteen, he stuffed pieces of chicken and beef into his pockets so as not to go to the store in the evenings. His trousers, from a set of work clothes, made of canvas sackcloth, capable of surviving a nuclear war, the Holocaust and Ragnarok, from dirt, sweat and chicken in the pockets, had rotted for several months and had gaping holes. What do you think of the type?
The team leader tried not to hire him, giving him a “wash day.” Pipidastr happily did not go to work, but stubbornly did not want to wash. The Brazilians began to complain about these passes (who were already shaking if one of the Russians missed work) and he had to be taken into the unit. There the boss kicked him out of the office and Pipidastr wandered around the hangar. For now...
The Brazilians constantly asked me questions about our equipment. It’s kind of a national joke to go and pick a representative’s brains out. I explained it to them this way and that way. I explained to them the basics of the operation of the equipment so many times, translating the electronics from technical to human, that I almost myself began to understand what exactly I was telling them. The Brazilians did not let up. Then Pipidastr arrived.
At first, he simply brushed off the Brazilians. Then, tomorrow, I’ll look, I’ll clarify my favorite answers. Or the most favorite way is to shift it all onto one of the Rostovites. And so, when Pipidastr was once again walking around the hangar, one of the local military men with a Russian translator once again approached him and asked another round of questions. Suddenly Pipidastr decided to answer him and show him directly in the helicopter. He told the translator that he could handle it without her and would show everything himself. The translator was stupid and lazy, so she didn’t calculate the situation and went to the office. Pipidastr and the Brazilian went to the helicopter. The Brazilian climbed into the cabin, Pipidastr stood on the stepladder near the cabin. Completely blocking the unfortunate Brazilian's escape route.
[This piece of text is directly related to work and military equipment and therefore, in order to avoid an increase in blood pressure among our special officers, cannot be published in the public domain. Sorry, it was funny, but not for you.]
And here again - a fool, not a fool, but all this only went to Pipidastra’s advantage. Because they no longer kicked him out of the office, fearing his new lectures to the Brazilian military. The Brazilians circled around him in a wide arc - news of his teaching methods spread quickly and widely. Moreover, the Brazilians avoided him so much that they did not even present him with equipment failures - they accumulated broken iron in the storeroom and crossed out the days on the calendar until Pipidastra’s departure. When I arrived, they dumped all this rubbish on me - and it took me a long time to deal with all these refusals. Well, who's the fool here?
Pipidastr sat in the office and loaded the Rostovites with his responsibilities. From time to time he wanted to go to the hangar for a walk. They dissuaded him, gave him coffee and fed him cookies. Coffee and cookies were, naturally, not pipidastral, so he was eager to go to the hangar every time he wanted to have a snack.
Having eaten at someone else's expense, Pipidastr fell into a complacent state and told the Rostovites his biography. Wonderful stories, in comparison with which Kharms’ stories are an example of logic and common sense. How do you like, for example, a story that begins with the words: “This happened during the time when I was the technical director of a brothel...”
I came to change Pipidastra in Brazil. I stood in his room, breathing through my mouth and trying not to suffocate from the stench. He was packing a suitcase - old tattered T-shirts, Rostov robes, plague-ridden pants. My attention was caught by a familiar green box - Greenfield tea. Which is definitely not sold in Brazil.
- What is this? - I ask.
“This is tea,” Pipidastr answers. — I brought it with me from Russia. But here the water is bad and it doesn’t brew well. I never drank it. So, I decided to take it home.
Who remembers anything about Pipidastr’s business trip to Brazil, but I have this ridiculous packet of tea that flew across the ocean with him twice.
Then I had to deal with the legacy of Pipidastra. And it wasn't so bad there. No, it’s clear that for a month I had to dig through broken iron and clean up the documents behind it. The Rostovites also fucked me - everyone told me some “funny” story about his stay here, as an illustration of the thesis “well, how stupid is he, and where do you get such employees from in your company?” After listening to each of these stories five times, I began to snap back. For every story about Pipidastra, in my memory there was a story about some Rostov Pasha, who drank himself to death in Brazil and wore underpants over his pants on the street. Rostovites were offended and always asked “why are you stirring up the past?” The cause and effect of my stories never reached these sheep.
But for me there were significantly more advantages from Pipidastra. Firstly, for some time the Brazilians were afraid to approach me with questions, thereby making my work easier. Secondly, for some time the spell “I’m going to fucking tell someone about tangents!” was in effect against the Brazilians, which scared them away like holy water. (It will take a long time to explain, but the Brazilians were really afraid of this expression.) And thirdly, what is most valuable, after Pipidastra, the Rostovites were glad to see anyone. Even me. I condescendingly told them that I was really kind, with a broad soul and manic shyness. And if some creature forgets about this, then I will not be too lazy to hammer this knowledge back into their stupid Rostov heads with a heavy hoe. And in general, the arrival of Pipidastra was retribution with Rostov for how they did not appreciate and respect such a dear me. And if Rostov thinks a lot about himself, then we may find in our ranks someone worse than me or Pipidastr.
As time passed—my second business trip to Brazil lasted a year and a half—people changed, memories faded. The Brazilians at the base have changed. The brigade was also renewed - of those who knew Pipidastra personally, and not from stories, only one and a half people remained in the brigade, and the rest believed their stories very moderately - people simply did not believe that this could really happen.
My relationship with the crew became tense, and from rarely breaking out quarrels they smoothly moved to mutual hostility and to regular “Fuck you” instead of “Good morning”. I was slowly getting ready to go home when news came from my office that Pipidastr was coming to replace me.
This was his swan song - after returning from his second Brazilian business trip, he was fired, but until that moment he had a whole six months alone with the Rostovites. Oh, how he had a blast with them. Unfortunately, innocent subcontractors also came under attack, but as one of my bosses said to justify Stalin’s repressions, “they cut down the forest, the chips fly.”
Everyone is familiar with the thoughts “I’ll leave and then you’ll regret it” - in fact, this is not so, in fact, no one cares, but then I knew for sure that the people of Rostov would still regret my departure. And not once, and not twice. But they deserved it - only God was behind Rostov, but merciless Karma looked after me.
I still lived away from the Rostovites, but when I met Pipidastra at the airport, I brought him to check into the Rostovites’ hotel. There I introduced him to the brigade. Then he delivered his last message to them.
- Citizens. A couple of minutes of your attention. Do you know what karmic determinism is? This is a teaching that everything that happens to you in the present is completely predetermined by your karma and, as a reason, by your actions. In short, everything you did before led you to this sad moment. Keep this in mind for the next six months. So. The brigade is Pipidastr. Please love and respect. Pipidastr is a brigade. Fas.
And I left. Home. To the birches and poplars. Well, and to other nonsense with which the Motherland is usually associated. And behind me came the desperate cries of the damned Rostov souls, torn apart by the powerful jaws of the merciless demon Pipidastra.
I smiled.
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